Rawhead Rex, 1986 – rated R – 89 minutes
Synopsis: Sometimes a pagan virility idol is just a pagan virility idol. Other times its that and the headstone for an ancient, carnage-loving demon starved for blood. Choose carefully. Freed from it’s centuries slumber by a bolt of lightning, aforementioned demon Rawhead Rex tears across the Irish countryside, leaving devastation and a trail of body parts in his wake. When the rock-stupid townsfolk prove unable to stop him, it’s up to American tourist Howard Hallenbeck and his old lady to roll up their sleeves and do it themselves.
The Skinny: Rawhead Rex saw limited European release in late 1986, arriving in America the following year. The film was written by noted horror fiction author Clive Barker and directed by George Pavlou. It stars David Dukes, Ronan Wilmot and Heinrich von Schellendorf. Rex carries an R rating and has a run-time of 89 minutes.
Anthill Reacts: Between 1984 and 1985, Clive Barker released six volumes in his Books of Blood series. The hugely-popular short story collections made the author an overnight success and were quickly mined by eager movie producers looking to translate the British writer’s clout into cash. The first of the stories adapted was volume three’s Rawhead Rex. While the original story is rife with over-the-top sexual allusions and violence, the producers reigned those aspects in for the film, concentrating instead on more common horror movie tropes. Subsequently, the film comes off as a bit of a mish-mash: when Barkeresque scenes of perversion do make the cut (notably, Rawhead “baptizing” the Declan) they seem to come from out of nowhere and feel out of step with the rest of the film.
Barker was reportedly unhappy with Rawhead’s design, calling it “…a 9 ft tall phallus with teeth.” It’s an odd criticism, considering the author freely copped to the phallic imagery inherent in his original story. Perhaps he was looking for something more subtle, because the name Rawhead Rex is just that. In spite of Barker’s misgivings, our titular character actually looks pretty freaky. 6′ 3″ German ski instructor Heinrich von Schellendorf wore the Rawhead Rex costume and it’s quite effective in certain shots. Unfortunately, grace on the slopes did not translate to grace on the silver screen: while Rex is as big as a Predator, he lacks it’s inherent grace. Where Predator actor Kevin Peter Hall ran and crouched and leapt in his costume, von Schellendorf merely lumbers on- and off-camera. It’s one of the weaker aspects of the production.
It’s a dispiriting moment when it becomes clear to the audience that Howard Hallenbeck is meant to be the film’s hero. If he’s the best the forces of good can do, I’m not convinced they deserve to win. On the other hand, the profane Declan is a riot. While his best lines are unfit for my family-friendly column, this exchange should at least give you a little perspective:
Reverend Coot: Think, think! It doesn’t care about you! When it’s finished with you what will it do with you?
Declan: Kill me — I HOPE!!
This uncontrollable passion for the very thing that’s destroying him makes the Declan all too believable. In today’s tweet-following, celebrity-obsessed media culture, a creature like Rawhead would instantly become the obsession of every extremist, sociopath and deviant with internet access. He would have a ready-made army of the mad and disenfranchised: people would come from all over the world to worship at his feet. He’d be like the Ellen DeGeneres of Pagan sex monsters.
The rest of the cast is fairly forgettable, save the hunchback inspector that plays like a Monty Python character. I keep expecting him to tell someone his name is spelled “Raymond Luxury-Yacht” but is actually pronounced “Throat Warbler Mangrove.” The sharp-eyed viewer will note young Robbie Hallenbeck reading an issue of Secret Wars II in the back seat of the family car just moments before his demise. Poor kid. Not only is he about to die, but his last memory will be Spider-Man teaching a cosmic being how to void its bowels.
Best Line: “Darkness can be deceptive.” – Det. Insp. Isaac Gissing
What Can We Learn? If the alter of your local church begins hissing with demonic voices, don’t lay your hand palm-down on its surface so the evil can go into you easier. Make it work a little to possess you, try not to give yourself away to the first Rawhead you meet. Also, avoid prolonged exposure to the beams of red light that come out of the stain-glass demons eyes. It’s better to be safe than sorry. And finally, if you walk into a dark room asking “Who’s there?” it’s never, ever going to end well for you.
In Closing: Rawhead Rex is really no more than we should expect it to be: a gory, low-budget horror romp fit for a lazy Sunday-afternoon. Clive Barker has since disowned the film, but that doesn’t mean it should be dismissed out of hand. If you love monsters or are just willing to turn off your brain and enjoy some mid-level carnage, Rawhead Rex is worth 90 minutes of your time. I give it two-and-a-half pagan virility idols out of five.
You may also enjoy:
