The Boogens, 1981 – rated R – 95 minutes
Synopsis: 100 years after a mysterious massacre caused it’s closure, a local silver mine is being re-opened. Four men are dispatched to the mine to make a preliminary safety assessment, but in dynamiting the entrance they inadvertently free the bloodthirsty reptilian “Boogens” trapped within. Low-budget havoc ensues.
The Skinny: The Boogens was released in 1981. It was directed by James L. Conway from a screenplay by David O’Malley. The film stars Rebecca Balding, Fred McCarren and Jeff Harlan. It carries an R rating and runs 95 minutes.
Anthill Reacts: This is one of those movies I first caught on cable as a teen ditching school. It was a gloomy winter’s day and after everyone else had left the house I doubled back and got comfortable in front of the TV. In spite of its stupid name I settled on The Boogens because it was an rated R horror film and I knew there would be nudity. While my finely-honed senses proved true, the film offered more than just skin. I remember thinking it was moody and atmospheric, with some truly unique-looking monsters. I enjoyed it more than I expected and made a mental note to watch it again someday if I had the chance.
Thirty years later and I laugh at young Anthill: he put in a lot of legwork just to see a little boob. Today, The Boogens is a real slog; with few kills and a minimum of gore its certainly thrifty in the thrills department. While there were a couple of laughs to be had, they were few and far between. I kept waiting for the movie to assert itself or take some kind of chance, but it simply never happens. The Boogens is too afraid of losing its deposit to risk playing rough with the equipment, and it shows. Instead of the expected bloodshed and mayhem we are treated to low-brow humor, low-grade monsters and Tiger, the most annoying dog in movie history.
Don’t like dogs? Too bad, he’s one of the main characters. Seriously, the cast is as small as the budget. It’s as if the filmmakers were given two dudes, two chicks, a dog and some Boogens and told to keep filming until they had a movie. In keeping with the cultural movement of the time, our two male leads are portrayed as shiftless horny slobs. A typical interaction:
Roger: She’s got perfect breasts!
Mark: (disbelieving) You saw them? Both of them?
There you go: that’s this movie in a nutshell. It tries to get by on the cheap because it has nothing to give when it counts. It may seem I’m being hard on it but believe me, I wanted to give this one a glowing review. Sadly, this is one of those cases where nostalgia can’t hold up to close examination. Weak writing, uninspired cinematography, and Beanie and Cecil-type puppeteering all bog the film down. On top of that, it’s hard as an audience member to feel sympathy for anyone actually killed by a Boogen. They’re small, slow, and loudly announce their presence wherever they go: getting away from one is the equivalent of stepping over a Roomba carpet cleaner, only less exciting.
On the technical front many of the shots look improvised, especially when it comes to the aforementioned Boogens. I’m not sure if the director originally had a different shooting concept that didn’t work out and so he was forced to make due ala Jaws, but shots from the creature’s perspective are obviously just a guy lying on the floor with a camera. There’s no real energy to the lensing: the camera just sits and stares. What I assume are meant to be ominous, mood-building moments are punctuated by constant cutaways to snow. Its like the director of photography had never seen the stuff before and started making his own documentary on the subject.
Best Line: Boogens! – Greenwalt, aka The Old Man
What Can We Learn? Towels only hide your nudity if you hold them closed, and even then they are no substitute for your sweater and mom jeans. Also, never dare question the virility of Hormone Man. Finally, if the town whack-job is getting “riled up” on account of something you’re doing, stop doing it. Crazy people are danger’s barometer; know the signs.
In Closing: The Boogens is a goofy little monster movie that doesn’t end so much as surreptitiously burn itself down for the insurance money. If you have an hour-and-a-half to waste and low enough expectations you may find it passable entertainment. Like I said, there are a few chuckles to be had, even if they’re at the expense of the titular Boogens. Hey, at least that annoying dog gets eaten. Err, spoilers.
Discuss this article on the Fwoosh forums!
You may also like:
Armageddon Drive-In: The Curse
1 Comment
Add a Comment