Armageddon Drive-In: The Deadly Spawn

The Deadly Spawn - 81 minutes - rated R

The Deadly Spawn – 81 minutes – rated R

The Skinny: The Deadly Spawn, (also known as Return of the Aliens or The Return of the Alien’s Deadly Spawn) was released in 1983. The film was written and directed by Douglas McKeown. It stars Charles George Hildebrandt, Tom DeFranco, Jean Tafler and Richard Lee Porter. Creature design by John Dods.

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Synopsis: Nothing good ever comes from space. Case in point: a meteorite chock full of Deadly Spawn. Said Spawn infiltrate the suburban home of pre-teen horror aficionado Charlie and his family, settling into the damp and shadowed recesses of the basement. Its not long before the little buggers are squirming around the neighborhood, ruining vegetarian potlucks and the belief systems of scientific imperialists everywhere. The man on the radio was right – it looks like its going to be a bad day.

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I call the big one Bitey.

Anthill Reacts: The Deadly Spawn is not for the faint of heart. It is unapologetically gory and over the top: rest assured, before you hit the 15-minute mark blood will have been shed and faces will have been eaten. That said, the film never feels forced or exploitative: the filmmakers are clearly celebrating the form by delivering a note-perfect tribute to it. The tone, the pacing and of course the big-ass monster channel Roger Corman at his best while simultaneously amping up the action for splatter fans.

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I see you’ve already met the twins.

The visiting Uncle’s uninvited psychoanalysis of his nephew Charlie is a wry bit of social commentary, reflecting the criticism horror films were receiving at the time. With his presumptuous nature and bumbling, oblivious approach, Uncle Herb makes a fine surrogate for all of the televangelists, politicians and pop psychologists who demonized the medium while exploiting it to pad their own pockets. The makers of The Deadly Spawn understood they’d be condemned for what they unleashed on the world and took the time to address it: as Charlie tells his uncle, the monsters aren’t real, they’re just fun. Too bad so many adults seem to forget that.

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Ladies and gentlemen, Charlie. Charlie, ladies and gentlemen.

For all that, The Deadly Spawn earns its R-rating by ladling out the mayhem. The obligatory skin comes early, in the unexpected form of a weary middle-aged Mom rising from her bed in a flimsy negligee. Soft music begins to play as she stretches awkwardly in front of a window, prompting my movie-watching partner Mrs Anthill to speculate, “Is she supposed to be hot? Oh, God, we’re supposed to think she’s hot!” Non-hot semi-nudity ensues.

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We’re not happy about it either, lady.

Its an odd choice in a film full of them. Juxtapositions like the Spawn eating Dad while Mom feeds the cat show the filmmakers were not only aware of what they were doing, but also having a good time doing it. The dinner party scene alone is worth the price of admission, but there’s so much more. The kills are brutal and unexpected, and take a noticeable toll on our protagonists. We watch average kids go from well-adjusted to basket cases before becoming monster-food; its a bold move on the film’s part and pays off. No one is safe, and even those who are spared are forever damaged. For being a goofy monster movie its pretty strong medicine.

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Getting their spawn on.

Special effects artist John Dods’ Spawn does Giger’s Alien one better by being ALL teeth. Even its babies. These designs strike a fundamental chord of unease in the mammalian brain: they’re ominous and otherworldly and their resemblance to fanged genitalia doesn’t help. The monsters are clearly ludicrous, but at the same time not so unlike creatures of the sea primitive man might have encountered. What I’m saying is, the movie knows how to push the our buttons and does so gleefully. The truly amazing thing is, this film was made on a budget of $25,000 dollars. That’s less than the cost of catering on a big-budget Hollywood movie. The film is a remarkable testament to inventiveness and inspiration, showing just how much can be done on a limited budget.

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The house that gives full bars.

Best Line: You have your choice between tuna salad and hamburger: I envy you.

What Can We Learn? Don’t leave your basement window open unless you want to play host to Deadly Spawn. Seriously, folks, you’re pretty much inviting them in otherwise. Also, Dad’s shaving razor makes a fine stand-in for a scalpel if you’re performing a spontaneous autopsy. Of course he won’t mind. Finally, be proactive when it comes to household security. Keep plenty of rubber monster heads and Zap! Flash powder on hand — you can never be too careful.

Me smile pretty.

Me smile pretty.

In Closing: Unlike many films rushed out to cash in on the gore craze, The Deadly Spawn is the real deal. It never takes itself too seriously or high-hats you in front of your pals: its here to chew bubblegum and entertain, and it prefers your face to bubblegum. More importantly, its an honest movie: it wears its heart on its sleeve, along with an eye, some tongue and bits of brain and lung. An atmospheric soundtrack, legitimate boo scares and an ending that has to be seen to be believed make this one a winner. Five disembodied heads out of five!

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Armageddon Drive-In: The Boogens

Armageddon Drive-In: Rawhead Rex

Armageddon Drive-In: The Curse

The Author

themanintheanthill

Jason R Mink is a sandwich-powered writing machine for easy 1000 dollar loan. His debut novel of transformational horror, THE CULT, is available now:

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